My Oh My…

Well, here I am just days away from freedom and peace….feeling a little sad….definitely feeling a whole lot of sexual frustration, and I feel like a race horse stuck in the starting gate.  He’s almost done packing and loading the trailer, and will be leaving for his new place on Saturday morning.  Part of me is thrilled that he is getting his act together and learning how to take care of his business by him self.  But another part is understandably irritated that he refused to make changes WHILE we were together.  As I have felt all along thru this process, I believe the ONLY way for either of us to make changes is away from each other.  To force us out of our complacency and comfort zones.

I met someone new yesterday, online of course, and we really seemed to hit it off well.  We'll call him Freddy.  We have a lot of common interests, he’s younger being 8ys my junior…..I think I really like this younger guy thing.  Though I am not holding my breath that we will have the same spark in person.  Physical chemistry is so vital and something that I just cannot fake.  But I sure do hope it is there.  There seems to be a magic bit of shine in younger guys that older men seem to have buffed off.  Now I am not here to say it is better or worse, as clearly I am older and my sheen is a bit dull as well, however, the allure of the younger man is that he polishes me up right nice.  I feel more alive with them and somehow as though I have a bit of my youth back that was stolen in that long relationship. 

Anyways, for all I know he may disappear tomorrow, but the good news is that I have hope that another will be right behind him to take his place.  I am in no hurry, I am going to do me and have some FUN!!  I am definitely ready to date, not ready for a serious relationship, and quite honestly wouldn’t mind a good steady friend with some fringe benefits from time to time.

~S~