Holy Crap...too many men....GOOD men...

I'm a little over whelmed at the moment.  My little social experiment, my little funny online dating profile, WORKED.  I have more dates at the moment than I can handle, and not ONE single penis pic sent to me!  These are so far, decent, intelligent, funny men.  Who are treating me with respect.  I don't even have to gently guide them in that direction.  I have currently 5 men trying to schedule a physical date with me.  Statistically, I have been on Plenty of Fish or POF for a little more than a week.  The majority of that week was a DUD, with all the activity picking up dramatically this last weekend.  And the best part.....DRUM ROLL PLEASE......  I have a DATE this Friday with a man who is AWESOME.  I know if it weren't for Christians cd's...I'd be blowing this BIG TIME...and I still might....so I am considering it nothing more than an experiment and practice....but hopeful I don't screw it up. 

He has been courting me, just like a man SHOULD, and he is doing it with FLAIR.  I get weak in the knees for sure.  I have never been pursued this way in all my life.  It is almost scary.  So this is the time to get a firm grip on my big girl panties, not get my knickers in a twist....and be cool as a cucumber and KEEP on making dates with other men.  My exclusivity IS a gift, and a man will have to ask for it to get it!

I am trying to fit these dates into an already filled schedule.  But the attention and results has allowed me to breath a little and know that I...CAN...do this.  And I am having sooo much fun.  I think I am going to really like dating, and now that I have learned from Christian Carter how not to create an instant relationship fantasy in my head, I think I will be able to better show the real me, and have tons of suitors on the line.  I feel like a little kid in a candy store...I just hope I don't throw up from all the sugar!  And maybe...just maybe...there is some fantastic SEX in my future, NEAR I hope!

~S~

What I am learning from Christian Carter

OMG....I know my marriage and it's failure is a 50/50 stock in it's demise, and I know that the kiss of death was the final affair he had.  Had he not done that, we would still be together today as I was a sorry excuse of a pile of goo not worthy to consume so much air.  IE: no back bone.  A couple of my friends were/are decidedly insistent that I get counseling, because there is no way....NO WAY....someone could go thru what I went thru for two decades and not need professional help.  And my whorish behavior was not helping my cause to deny a need for such help.  How ever, I haven't yet slept with a single man, so....I'm just saying....

Anyways, I decided that I did need some help...with DATING.  I have been locked up for so long that I just knew I was going to spaz out on some men and scare them away at best.  No way for a lady to get laid, that's for sure!  I have been on Christian Carter's email list for a while now and have been intrigued to say the least.  But poor as well. He is the dating guru to the girls.  The 'inside the mind of a man' guy.  The 'catch him and keep him' guy.  ...The "don't be a spaz "Shelly" guy. I knew I needed his help as I was leaning this direction.  Leaning in the direction of trying to force my life into the direction that I wanted it to go.  I'm a great catch and I know it....but how do I get guys to know it if I can't get them to ask me out?  What am I doing wrong?  I'm a very attractive woman(sexy, hot, beautiful are the words said to me), according to men, but not attractive enough to be seen in public with.  Hmmm.  I knew this just could not be true.  I messaged quite a good number of men and not a one of them replied, no matter HOW or WHAT I said in that message. 

So, I did the only thing I could do...I scouted out used copies of Christian's program.  I have gotten them all except one....and let me say...OMG... am I going to have fun DATING.  Honestly, I am not ready for a relationship....a knew it before...but it is for sure now.  My husband did a number on me for 2 decades, and I fell pray to all the common women's response to his bull shit.  Maybe if I had these programs back in the day, I could have averted many of our pitfalls, but I doubt it.  He was an alcoholic, and we were doomed to a marriage of mediocrity from the get go.  However, I never want to live that way again, so not only do I want to be able to spot an unhealthy man quickly, I want to know how to ATTRACT the right man, and know how not to push him away once I do find him.  I don't want to fall for a man, I want to fall in love because I CHOSE the right man. I know his programs are going to help me do just that.  And why do I know this?

Because I am learning how to control myself, learning to heal myself, learning that my husbands problems of infidelity and alcohol issues were NOT my fault.  I'm learning how a guy might perceive my behavior, not me girlfriend's.  I personally think these tapes will be far better for me than counseling ever would have been.  I love some of the 'experts' he has interviewed as well Such as Marie Forleo and Lauren Francis. I can't wait to get thier stuff too, along with many other guest speakers he has shared in his programs.

The best part about them, is that I am getting instant results too.  I happen to be very introspective and study from programs like this all the time, so I am quick to understand, conceptualize and put into practice.  While I will eventually go back and do each program with pen in hand.  At the moment I am just listening to each CD as fast as I can, to get thru them ALL, so I could figure out how to chill and stop forcing my life.  I have all this pent up sexual energy that is literally bursting out of me.  I can only unleash it on the guys at the gay bar for so long before I will explode!  The partying is almost out of my system, and my gay guy friends really help me cut loose and let it all out.  I'm going to have to contact Christian and thank him as soon as I get more of myself figured out.  I've been listening to non stop Cd's in the car on my commute, and my inner spirit has already undergone a major overhaul that the whole world around me is commenting on.  Thanks Christian....you ROCK!  You have saved a whole lot of men from my uncontrollable sexual tension.

I will be blogging soon about Marie and Lauren as they have helped me immensely as well.

Peace n Love
~S~

Click here for more info on Christian Carter and his amazing products.

My Hilarious POF online dating profile...IT WORKED!!!

I find it amazing, how I am getting a little more action with my new and improved sarcastic profile.  AND it is yielding better quality men...so far anyways....quality: as in appreciating ME for me, and not being douche bags.  They are respectful and hilarious and they are not sending pics of their cocks!  Well one did.  A cute lil cub who was out cougaring.  I swiftly sent him on his way after a lesson in how to actually get women without sending pics.

Now the other really fascinating thing about my new profile, is that 9/10 men who are contacting me.....are LIBRA'S.  Isn't that interesting? I'm a Libra too.  All have said they find me VERY interesting and funny and I appear to be someone they want to get to know.  While I may be turning off alot of men this way, to be honest, I'm finding it a great filter to keep men who probably would not like me anyways, from contacting me and wasting both our time.  I know a few men that would like me are turning into the 'big fish that got away'....but seriously......I was sickened to re-read the line of total CRAP was in the profile of the men who were showing or trying to show me their dicks and just wanted a piece of ass.

So here is an excerpt from my POF online profile as it stands.  I do NOT want anyone copying it, (I have a lawyer and fully intend to use them if someone does) But I am not taking chances by sharing the whole thing.  I am an original.  But I do want to share that I discovered that really NO good man was ever going to contact me from my 'average' profile that I had up at first.  This is what I wrote:

I enjoy my horses and spending time w friends.  I'm very social, but very much enjoy quiet times with those I love.  I'm easy going, but can be quite energetic and silly too.  I'm a writer/poet by hobby and I love great conversation... The more the better.  I'm very passionate about the things that interest me or are close to my heart.  I see the world differently than most people do and try to really live in the moment, not the past or the future.  I love the arts, especially contemporary dancing.... But I'm not stuffy or pretentious.... A good Honky Tonk suits me just as well.  My taste in music is eclectic, country, soul, alternative light rock.  I'm an old fashion romantic at heart.... And expect to be treated with respect and like a lady....My pets include 2 dogs, 2 cats, 3 horses and a 14yo son....LOL.  I'm not looking for a serious relationship, but if one swept me off my feet....then so be it. If you're looking for a real woman in every sense of the word, send me a message..... I'd love to meet a real man.

What's most important to me is good conversation with a down to earth person who is outgoing and positive, so a a nice stroll window shopping in a quaint little town, coffee, or darts at a dive bar is nice too.  I believe in having no expectations, so meeting as friends, and if there is chemistry, going from there.

....BLAH BLAH BLAH.  For crap sakes, a mediocre looking guy in a wheel chair didn't even respond.....I knew something was seriously wrong.  I am far...FAR...from unfortunate looking.  I googled how to write a good profile, and honestly, most of the advice directed me to write what I already had.  Not to mention, if every other woman on the planet reads the advice...aren't we going to end with the same profiles....AGAIN.  The key is to SHOW them your funny....not tell them you are funny.  So I googled "funny online profile for woman" and I found a blog that gave a guys perspective...and I instantly knew what I had to do.  By golly damnit, I am a funny woman and I am going to show them what the hell I have to offer.  The following paragraph is the intro to my profile....

You had me at "nice boobs"....
Looks aren't important to me, neither is age, weight or race.  You don't even need to be able to spell or write gud. I'm a cheap and easy date, two shots of whiskey and we'll be having sex in you're car outside the bar. The trashier you treat me, the easier I get. I'm not that brite and wont expect you to ever call me again.  For a good time call.......LOL....Seriously.... You didn't think this parody was real did you?  I read somewhere that 80% of men don't even read these things, so I thought I would have a little fun and give y'all your perfect fantasy profile read......THIS PART IS TOP SECRET...BUT YOU GET THE IDEA.....Those that need not message me:

1. Dirty old perv’s. Cuz.....EWWW

2. Hey Dude…ya…you….Look in your phone, if there is a picture of your penis in there….keep it there…I don’t want it in my phone

3. Pretentious, inflated ego-man-"I"-ack know it all’s… who think they are too damn smart or too damn pretty for the likes of most women.  If that is YOU….you are so ****ing right…..move ON. 
AGAIN TOP SECRET

I think y'all get the point about BEing different, not just SAYing you're different.  So go out, and write that profile that SHOWs how YOU are unique...and please don't plagiarize mine.

Looking for the one that stands out in the crowd!

I joined Plenty Of Fish….and created the PERFECT online dating profile.

I’ve been on there for 4 whole days and I’ve learned a lot so far.  Tagged was getting me no where, as it seems that it is a place for internet/phone Romeo’s only.  No live takers….got bored and the truth is, I am single now and want to date real live men.  So I joined POF as it is affectionately called.  I uploaded some cute pics of me and wrote what I thought was a genuine, witty and eloquent profile.  WRONG.  Despite the fact that I ‘really’ am not like most other women, or humans to be exact…turns out…when it comes to online profiles I am about as average and boring as the next gal.  Not only did I not get any takers, I was bold and messaged men and got NO responses either.  Say WHAT?  Being that I don’t look at other women’s profiles, how the hell would I know that every other woman wrote the same thing I wrote.  Not very original, and so unlike me.  Can’t have that.  So I did a little google research and viola…loads of tips….hoards of inspiration and I came up with what I think is the perfect profile for ME. And it sure as shit is original.  I have gotten two replies already today. And even though I come off as a sarcastic man hater….The two responses are treating me with more respect and less…let me show you my penis.

First let me say that there is a lot of ‘advice’ for creating a good profile, however, in the end….aren’t we all using that advice….thus….once again getting an un-original representation of ourselves out there.  And truth be told, you only get one shot from each man at a profile view. Likely if he saw the first one, he will not remember what you wrote, but he will remember that you didn’t catch his eye and likely…will never return to see your new and improved sales ad of yourself.

If you live in a small metro area, or worse the freakin hick sticks like me….you can’t afford to make that mistake.  So I’m relieved to know I caught and repaired my damage before I burned down the entire available dating pool in my age range.  Which by the way, is full of a bunch of dirty pervs lying about their age.  IF that is an accurate representation of men in their 40’s….Just fucking shoot me now. But since I am an intelligent and visually non impaired woman, I know that is not true.  Further more, I have noticed, unlike tagged.  There are actually men here in their 40’s that I am finding attractive. Maybe I won’t have to date in the wading pool anymore with the babies.  Though I do love their youthful spririt.

Anyways, I will try out this new profile for a few days and see how it does.  I have to say, on one hand it is nice to read what men have to say…or not say…about them selves.  Though for a good deal of them it is still just a load of crap…they can talk themselves up all they want, but in the end they are still just the guy who whips his penis out on the fourth message, so I am not taking too much stock in the profile reads….unless they are funny….you can’t walk away from a funny profile, nor can someone fake being funny!

~S~

 

My new gay boyfriends

So my sister came, we got our tattoo's fixed and she decided rather than going to a regular club, sit by the way side quietly and bored as I devour every man in the bar with my eyes, that we should go to a gay bar.....where "I" can sit by quietly and watch HER pick up women.  Well, I don't sit by quietly anywhere, and I am sure am not gonna let a little thing like no available straight men hold be back from flirting!!!  Guess that's the Libra in me!  Social Butterfly extraordinaire.  I had the most wonderful amazing time playing with all the gay lil boys in the bar, and even turned down a very good offer from a VERY hot 24yo green eyed Grecian God.  My third rebuttal of a very VERY hot young thing as of late.  Seems I am drawing the 20 something gorgeous kinky freaks out of the wood works this week.  They just come on a little too strong for me.  They were a little too crass.  I prefer the art of the subtle seduction.  So pay attention boys, if you really want to learn from an older woman, and she gives you advice rather than blow you off.....it means that if you take her advice she will give you what you desire.  If she has no intention on doing so.....you'd already be deleted! 

So the bartender at the gay club....what a freaking cutie!  Tim...was his name....and I wanted to just squish him up and put him in my pocket and take him home!  He made a great drink too....the Timmy Tonga....yummy....just like him.  There was also Ben and Manny a cute young couple, and El Salvadorian Hottie, Ziggy.....what a love bug....and more that I was just too drunk to remember thier names.  They danced with me, and damn near gay man raped me out there....I loved it!  I will definately be going there again....soon!

I also have a few online friends that may or may not move forward soon into the physical world....finally!  Juan, a Peruvian lover who finally asked me out.....but...we need to coordinate this as he lives quite a distance away.  He wants to drive over 300 miles to take me to dinner....and more I hope!  Then Steve...the unavailable sweet heart whom I pic-slutted myself out with last week.  He's still poking his head in from time to time....so not holding my breath there, but since that one is one that I desire purely sexual relations with...I'm willing to over look some of the hot/cold behavior.  One of the youngins I turned away, was simply because I found out he is engaged.  He freely admitted it, and I freely...and quickly declined.  I refuse to knowingly do to another what was done to me. There are plenty of hot men around to sleep with....

The ex has been hot and cold between complete silence and ignoring me....to fucking straight up insanity begging me back and accusing me of things that are just simply no longer any of his business.  Who cares if I didn't wait for the body to get cold before jumping on every man in sight.....he screwed around while the body was still ALIVE......so....sadistic as this may sound......he deserves to feel every shred of pain he is feeling right now....maybe he will discover....EMPATHY!

The weekend is approaching fast and I have plans (albeit loose ones) with my girlfriend for friday night.  We are going to dinner a movie and massages....and if she gets called into work...she said she'd drop me at the gay bar while she runs to work for about an hour....yippee.....!!!   And I just might take up this one very sweet 28yo for coctails at the gay bar on sat night.  Sounds like a plan to me!

Happy Hunting
~S~

Cyber dating VS Physical dating

The similarities are staggering between a cyber date and physical date…..when it comes to the question….”Did I just act like a slut?”  If you have to ask, the answer is probably YES.  While I was still with my husband before the final split, cyber dating was the only way I was gonna get any action.  It’s called an emotional affair as opposed to a physical affair.  When you and your suitor are 2000 miles apart, and you are sexually attracted to each other…..dirty talk and pictures (or web cam) and phone calls are ALL you have.  It is relatively harmless to send a pic to someone.  Your not gonna get pregnant nor contract aids.  It is easy to do, and the results are exactly the same as they are when you put out on a real date.  You're viewed as a SLUT.

I have been in a bad habit of sharing pics when I'm asked for them.  I had put up little to no fight if I was turned on, and sometimes even when I wasn’t.  I did notice that a couple times, I felt like if I didn’t, they wouldn’t like me….but I can assure you, with the exception of one…….after a pic fest…..they bailed.  Even my one….Owen….retreats then comes back for more……later.  The better and more emotionally involved we get, the longer he stays away.  Hmmm, how interesting. 

Well, I have this one REAL man on the line.  I am finally going LOCAL with my online friends in hopes of a date.  A real date.  With a real live man.  I had two during the first week of my single life and learned two things.  One….I’m too easy.   Two….I need to trust my instincts.  If before the date I think I will likely not be attracted….then I need to just not go.  Now this new guy…Steve….I kinda like him…but he really is not available…yet.  But I was torn between my lust/physical needs and my self respect.  And I made the mistake of photo sharing….ugh…..and now….no contact from him.  Just like in the physical world, we can be over come by desire and do stupid things in the moment that we regret the second the phone goes silent.  So I had to think long and hard about what kind of relationship I just may be looking for from this guy in the first place.  Turns out….probably just physical anyways…so no harm.  IF I should hear from him again, I will likely act on my impulses and womanly needs and get my itty bitty dumb ass brains Rattled and  ROCKED!

But in all seriousness….I decided I had better get smart about this and not only have fun with dating, but do it right.  I purchased a dating coaching cd set by Christian Carter and with it came some interviews with dating experts.  Two of them so far, I LOVE….and am going to get their books as well and start implementing the techniques they advise immediately.  One is Marie Forleo….I really loved her energy and thoughts about if you want to express your sexual feelings and are thruthfull and authentic with yourself about why you want to express these sexual feelings, then why not do it.  The other is Lauren Francis and she is a real hoot.  She offers real gems as far as dating advice goes and she is a blast to listen to.  So I decided to start a single woman’s club using her techniques, so I can meet other women to go man hunting with…in a pack!

I will be looking to start these techniques and club next weekend as my sister is going to be visiting from out of state this weekend.  I have not spoken to my husband since his irrational outbursts on Monday…..going to leave well enough alone and have me some fun!

Stay tuned….it is sure to be a real blast being a romantic researcher!

~S~

What a great weekend

Well, so much happened, it was hard to believe on monday that it was only two little days spent enjoying life.  I spent friday evening with Josh and his family playing cards.  Then I went by my self to a bar in my little home town where I made a new girl friend and a few other friends as well.  She is single too and really fun to hang out with.  Saturday I decided to hang out with my cousing and his fiance, then I spoke to a new guy friend on the phone while I sat on the back patio of a bar.  It was fun.  Kinda like being on a date...just that the guy wasn't there.  I stayed until the bar closed, then we talked as I drove home and then for another hour after I got home.  All told about 4 or so hours.  I like him and hope we will meet in person soon for a real date.  I am both mentally attracted to him and sexually attracted to him.  I hope when we do meet that I can a teeny bit of self control.  I spent sunday working on my bedroom and bathroom and it is a great form of spiritual purging that I didn't expect.  All I have left in the room is organizing my closet and cleaning the shower.

~S~

Unfortunate series of events

I can't believe I have been single for a week and half now.  It feels like months.  I hit the ground running and had my first date on my first night that I was single.  It was good.  Lots of good conversation, seduction and touching.  WE fooled around and I lost my cool.  I was powerless to his kisses and found my pants around my ankles in no time.  But this is where it turns bad......He had an impetance problem.  I felt bad but I had to get out of there.  For god sakes i just left a 20ys relationship where I wasn't satisfied due to limpness issues, and I am not going to start out with another one.  I've discovered that sex IS important to me.  An important way I would like to express my feelings and an important way to recieve someone elses expression.  It went from being about two people enjoying an experience together to being about a man and his problem.  For god sakes, I'm not Dr. Ruth!  I bailed.  I was soooo disapointed.  Left there just as sexually frustrated as I showed up.  But...I learned alot about what I want, and how I want to present myself.

As for my husband, he lost his fool head and after only a day and a half, started to beg me to come home.  Pleading with me, confessing deep love and regret, and promising to be able to change if he could just come back home.  This was basically a nightmare for me for 3 days.  He did manage to attend AA meetings all week, and also is doing a great bit of work in the Dr Phil Relationship Rescue book.  He admitted to his affair last year with a woman from work, and admitted to being the one to contact the first whore again, not her contacting him.  However, these are just small gestures in the grand scheme of things.  There is no way of knowing if there is a long lasting effect, and I refuse to take him back.  I asked him to back off, give me space, and told him that I don't know what the future holds, but at this point there is only a very teeny chance that somewhere in the future we can talk about US.

Online Date: Man #2

This is a good lesson for all you sexters out there……TRUST your GUT…and meet at Starbucks!  I had a feeling based on pics and a phone conversation that there may be little to no attraction in person once we met….boy was I right.  He was OK looking, but not really my type.  I could tell he was a super sweet guy though and figured “who couldn’t use another friend?”  We had a nice friendly chat on the phone, and lots of friendly text messages.  I got straight to business though and scheduled a meeting.  I’ve been single for 3 whole days now and we’re burning daylight here!  Not to mention, let’s just not pussy foot around and waste time investing in each other if there is not chemistry.  Starbucks it is.  When I got there, I knew immediately that my preconceived “out” was in order, so the first thing I said as he approached my car was…..”I don’t have long I have to get home and cook dinner for my son”.  Another lesson…..have your “out” story ready to go and well rehearsed so it sounds natural and authentic as it rolls off your tongue.  We walked inside and he put his arm around me right away……eeewwwww!  Really creeped me out.  He insisted on buying my coffee and I let him.  We talked for about 20-30 min as I was unable to endure a brain freeze by rushing thru my frappaccino.  He was nice and sweet but there was just NOTHING there, and all I could think was…..”why didn’t I trust my gut?”  I need to get better at being “cold” and just telling them that we’re not a good fit.  Things to remember in the future….break the hearts quickly, it hurts a lot less.  So a quick duck of the face into his armpit to avoid an accidental kiss during the friendly hug goodbye and away my tires burned rubber.....NEXT !!!

~S~