The similarities are staggering between a cyber date and physical date…..when it comes to the question….”Did I just act like a slut?” If you have to ask, the answer is probably YES. While I was still with my husband before the final split, cyber dating was the only way I was gonna get any action. It’s called an emotional affair as opposed to a physical affair. When you and your suitor are 2000 miles apart, and you are sexually attracted to each other…..dirty talk and pictures (or web cam) and phone calls are ALL you have. It is relatively harmless to send a pic to someone. Your not gonna get pregnant nor contract aids. It is easy to do, and the results are exactly the same as they are when you put out on a real date. You're viewed as a SLUT.
I have been in a bad habit of sharing pics when I'm asked for them. I had put up little to no fight if I was turned on, and sometimes even when I wasn’t. I did notice that a couple times, I felt like if I didn’t, they wouldn’t like me….but I can assure you, with the exception of one…….after a pic fest…..they bailed. Even my one….Owen….retreats then comes back for more……later. The better and more emotionally involved we get, the longer he stays away. Hmmm, how interesting.
Well, I have this one REAL man on the line. I am finally going LOCAL with my online friends in hopes of a date. A real date. With a real live man. I had two during the first week of my single life and learned two things. One….I’m too easy. Two….I need to trust my instincts. If before the date I think I will likely not be attracted….then I need to just not go. Now this new guy…Steve….I kinda like him…but he really is not available…yet. But I was torn between my lust/physical needs and my self respect. And I made the mistake of photo sharing….ugh…..and now….no contact from him. Just like in the physical world, we can be over come by desire and do stupid things in the moment that we regret the second the phone goes silent. So I had to think long and hard about what kind of relationship I just may be looking for from this guy in the first place. Turns out….probably just physical anyways…so no harm. IF I should hear from him again, I will likely act on my impulses and womanly needs and get my itty bitty dumb ass brains Rattled and ROCKED!
But in all seriousness….I decided I had better get smart about this and not only have fun with dating, but do it right. I purchased a dating coaching cd set by Christian Carter and with it came some interviews with dating experts. Two of them so far, I LOVE….and am going to get their books as well and start implementing the techniques they advise immediately. One is Marie Forleo….I really loved her energy and thoughts about if you want to express your sexual feelings and are thruthfull and authentic with yourself about why you want to express these sexual feelings, then why not do it. The other is Lauren Francis and she is a real hoot. She offers real gems as far as dating advice goes and she is a blast to listen to. So I decided to start a single woman’s club using her techniques, so I can meet other women to go man hunting with…in a pack!
I will be looking to start these techniques and club next weekend as my sister is going to be visiting from out of state this weekend. I have not spoken to my husband since his irrational outbursts on Monday…..going to leave well enough alone and have me some fun!
Stay tuned….it is sure to be a real blast being a romantic researcher!
~S~
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