~Heart Castle~

There’s a giant wall around my heart. It came out of no where, and is deflecting anyone and everything from getting inside.  My heart, the proverbial princess, is locked in a steel box, in the highest tower, protected by a fire breathing dragon.  Love cannot get in or out.  Dark nights on dark horses defend the stone wall perimeter, standing high above a shark infested ring of death.  The bridge incinerated so that not even the tiniest of harmless creatures can invade my space.  Who sentenced me to this imprisonment, was it my soul? My heart is usually something of a fairytale nymph prancing thru meadows riding a unicorn, open for all to see and betray at will.  This darkness, while strange and scary, is the by-product of fledgling strength.  I really am not strong enough to endure new pain.  The pain of the past has scarred over and faded with time.  Numb to the feelings for so long, I can’t feel a fresh cut, stab or blow.  How can someone break again, that which they shattered long ago? It stopped stinging when the broken pieces turned to dust.  The dark lord cannot hurt me anymore, but I learned the white knight can, and thus I must protect Humpty Dumpty’s super glued heart inside a massive fortress.  I cannot let the white knight in, no matter how mighty his sword and steed.  I have seen his face before in a dream and when I removed his coat of arms, demons lay behind it, and I cried tears of blood.  I cannot trust even my own two eyes, clouded and blind, they are not the guiding light.  My mind no longer trust worthy as the dove has delivered an orchard of poisoned olive branches.  I cannot trust what I see, hear and feel, when I catch my mind twisting the dark lord’s lies into bite sized truths I can swallow.  Is the white lord the devil in disguise? My mind screaming in silence, as everything is stained red and it all looks the same to me.  Stronger than the lords give me credit for, more fragile than I will ever let you see.  Unwilling to force my heart to endure anything less than extraordinary love, I will wait for the path to reveal itself to me, before I set the dragon free, disband the army and tear down the walls again.

~S~