~Tornado~

I’m standing in the eye of a tornado.  But it is not wind and rain that swirls around me, it is my life.   And the same way a car can be picked up like a toy and land on top of you, so too can words, emotions and actions. Every one around me has an opinion of what I am doing or need to be doing. And I feel like the opinions are rogue items haphazardly flying around me that I need to constantly dodge, but can’t seem to do so, because they don’t hold still.  How do I navigate around deadly objects hurling them selves at me with the speed of a gale force wind and are never in the same place twice? Reaching into the debris field, trying to clear a path to find my way out, I’m stabbed again and again with self righteousness.  I feel dizzy from the constant contradictions, from both myself and from others, and I can’t keep up with the storm anymore. The wind calls to me, begging me to step out of the eye, through the crap, and into the sunshine on the other side.  But the calmness of the eye feels safe, though I know it is not.  So I step into the battlefield, braving the onslaught, hit after brutal hit, tear after woeful tear, cut after bloody cut, one final blow and I snap like a burnt twig.  I have finally thrown myself clear of the destruction.  Somehow on the other side, standing on my own two feet, but feeling like I’m on my knees.  Twas not long ago, I was on my knees feeling like I was flying. There is no sunshine here, just rain, tears from the sun and moon and stars washing over me.  Standing back, looking at the tornado, to weak to run from it again, hoping next time it passes me by.
~S~