His smell followed me home....UCK

After a drama filled evening with my friends, their drama not mine, I sat in my little court trying to back my horse trailer thru my gate in the dark.  Normally something I can do with my eyes closed, but there I sat shimmying side to side watching the gate post dance around laughing at me.  20 minutes of frustration and screaming with the windows up, finally I said "fuck it" and pulled in straight.  I quit smoking 3 days ago, and was grateful my ex left a single stale cigarette in the dash.  I lit it up and suckled on the devils air and felt much better.  But I knew  one stale cigarette was not going to ease this pms fest and thus headed to town for some drive thru and a stiff drink.

At burger king, there was a man sitting outside whom looked vaguely familiar.  I ordered my food, and feeling the need for another cigarette, so I sat with him and his friend.  I noticed his car which alerted me to exactly who he was.  The man whom I had half a fling with 3 yrs ago right after I caught my husband cheating.  I say half an affair as we never actually consummated the whole thing.  But damn can he kiss and suck a mean nipple! After some small talk, he says to me...."yes you know me".  I'd rather hoped he didn't recognize me, but apparently he did.  So we bantered about the things we remembered, kids, jobs....yada yada.  I mentioned that I was going to the range (the local watering hole) and he said that he was too.  Now I'm no stuck up bitch, nor do I think I'm better than anyone else....however...it does not....NOT...mean I want to date a loser.  No matter what setbacks a person goes thru in life is none of my concern, I wish them well and do not judge them if the fail to overcome them....However...I'm no meal ticket, sugar moma or dumb blonde.  I don't pay a mans way.  I don't mind paying my own way, but I'm not paying yours too.

When I finished eating, I got his number (he asked) and I left for the bar.  Where I came across a friend I made there a month or so ago.  It was his birthday and he was uber glad to see me.  I like him, he's cute, not exactly my type but ya never know, right?  So we drank and as always I made a ton of friends and had a few lurkers gazing upon my tailgate.  Which is quite "juicy" the men tell me.  We drank and talked and laughed and somewhere between drinks one and two, I mentioned matter of factly my need to get laid.  It was not a call to action, but again....hey....ya never know who might rock my drunken ass one of these days.   We got a good laugh out of it and then....his dancing, smiling eyes turned predator.  OOOPS...I unleashed the beast.  I guess in a small way, I subconsciously do this on purpose, even though I am fickle and quite picky in regards to men, so that I may know whom I can and can't turn on, and then choose from the results I get.  He figured since I had a hot date the next night, that I'd be giving it out then, why not he try to get some tonight.  He was cute about it, teasing me for the next hour or so.  When I left, I got a lingering peck on the lips.  I got a few tingles, and thought....hmmm....maybe I 'could' do this guy.

I walked out the door and was followed by another man, whom I was honestly more attracted to.  We'll call him "security man" as he was wearing a shirt that said "security" and for all I know he was the bouncer....but since I don't think they do have one.....I'll assume it was just a funny tee. This is where David Wygant is right on the money about men saying STUPID things to hit on woman.  I had seen this guy checking  me out, but I did NOT follow David's advice and give him encouragement.  Totally fucked it up.  I wasn't sure if he was really checking me out, or if I was in a drunken stupor imagining things. So, as any woman does late at night in a dark parking lot alone hearing footsteps behind her....I looked over my shoulder and paused for a half second to see who it was and if I was in danger. Which he took the opportunity to say, and I drunken quote....
"hey don't leave early, stay, maybe you can take home one of these young guys with ya later"

Now, I can't read morse code, and I can't read brail either, but if I take this guy at what he said, he wasn't quite talking about himself.  I said something witty, though I can't recall what, but I did pause long enough for him to get his shit together and offer himself up, if that was his desire.  I gave him a whole 30 seconds of my time to indicate interest.  He failed....I bailed.  Word to the single men out there....some women only give you 30 seconds, if YOU are interested and she's only half walking away....speak up fast cuz she paused...for YOU...because had I not been interested, he wouldn't have even gotten the 30 seconds.  Take a chance and just blurt it out....especially at a bar...for god sakes, we're all drunk and likely not to remember your dumb blunder in the morning.  Or at least be more forgiving of it as we analyze our own inappropriate behavior and if we ourselves looked like a Jack Ass. Now as for myself, I totally blew a real live opportunity to practice giving a man encouragement.  Damnit and my own self doubt!

I get home and the texts start rolling in from birthday boy.  About as 'hook up' talk only as it can get. I declined...politely as not to ruin my chances of an ace in the hole in the future.  He's local cute and aside from this evening, usually smells good.  So it was easy to decline this evening as I could still smell his BO on me as I lay there in bed.....UCK!
~S~