Ok…so numbers 3 & 4 flaked on me or stood me up, read the ‘flakes’ post. But Man #5, the last second conciliation prize when man #3 cancelled on me, who gladly met me for drinks and a few games of pool, just about 5 seconds after introducing ourselves online….turned out to be a bit-o-fun. He was a wee bitty cougar hunter, military boy, a little shy and quiet but assertive none the less. I got way too hammered and was my usual shameless flirt with just about every guy in the bar. I was just sober enough to enjoy the attention I was getting and loved every second of whipping them all into a sexual frenzy. I knew near instantly, that the cub and I were not very compatible, but out of respect my flirting was on the sly, which seemed to just make it that much more tortuous for the rest of them. I have to say that the cd’s I listened to from Lauren Francis on flirting and Patty Contenta on sensuality…..really have left the men around me at a significant disadvantage. I really am not the prettiest woman in the world, but I do seem to have a new allure for sure. An air of confidence and lusty sensuality, that men can’t resist. The poor little cub found it a bit hard to keep up, but he sure did try his damndest. Before long he was claiming me for all the bar to see, and a little flirty touching as we danced around the pool table. Baby boy walked me to my car when the night was over, a few ho hum kisses, one gentle let down that he would not be seeing me again, and away I went….back to the bat cave.
The next night, when man #4 stood me up, I wandered from that restaurant to the one across the parking lot and sidled up to the bar feeling about as slighted as I ever could. As I sat there, I thought of these mentors and one other, Marie Forleo on living in the moment, so I decided to be present and not let that loser get the better of me. Within a few minutes of meditating over a sex on the beach, I felt a few eyes gazing upon me, and few minutes after that…..I was practically being mauled by a man so mesmerized by me I had damn near rendered him speechless. However he managed to spit a few words again and again, professing how hypnotizing me eyes were, how sensually I ate, and my overall beauty. Sadly he was far from my type, but I sure did have fun practicing my wicked little spells on him. I finally got confirmation from man #6 via text that he was minorly available, and I tore away from my fun little play thing, leaving the poor guy utterly disappointed. But I had to, I had been working on guy #6 for a couple months and I just so happened to be stranded just 10 miles from where he lives…..what moron would pass that up?
However, when I got there….it was now me who was disappointed. Pictures CAN indeed say a thousand words…and every one of them can be a LIE. He was nothing like I expected and having his two small children with him….OMG…if that doesn’t kill a gals hard-on…I don’t know what will. I stayed for about 45min as we had a nice but utterly boring conversation completely interrupted by two adorable but busy little tykes. I decided it was time to go, he walked me to my car, planted an alarming kiss on me that quite frankly took me by surprise. I mentioned his children playing in the window to distract him so I could break away long enough to get in my car…..and away I went….again. Driving the distance home, I just knew I had way more energy to expel and found my self driving past my house and stopping only at my local watering hole. I met up with a few friends and partied till they kicked us out at closing. Somewhere in there I asked a very sexy cop, what a gal has to do to get arrested. But alas, he turned out to be married and on duty. No worries, I was hosting a family reunion the next day and really needed some sleep.
At this point I am O for 6…..another week…another hunt….c’mon boys…bring it ON. Show me what you’re made of.
~S~
Sounds like you are doing a lot of drinking and driving. I will sincerely advise you to scale that back. Especially flirting with an on duty cop at a bar probably with a drink in your hand?? Pure idiocy You were very lucky
ReplyDeleteActually, I take drinking and driving very seriously as my sister in law was killed by a drunk driver, leaving behind two small children. I'm very careful and don't drink that much, usually only one drink. I flirted with the cop because that's who I am, I flirt with everyone, not because I was drunk. And it's funny you should see it that way as the actual conversation I had with him was in fact my sobriety. HE is the one who told me I was fine to drive. Even when I have a couple of drinks, I nurse them over a few hours. IF, I question my alcohol consumption, I will not hesitate to sit in the parking lot and wait it out, usually texting friends, talking on the phone or surfing the web. But I do thank you for your concern.
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