What this woman thinks about during sex.

So I was reading David Wygant's blog for woman (you should really check it out) and he posed a thought and a question.  He laid his cards on the table for what he is thinking of during sex....and then asked what we woman are thinking.  The call to action was far too strong to resist and away my fingers went a typing.  When done, I figured my reply was worthy of pasting here.....so without further adieu....here is what I am thinking when it comes to sex....

Well it seams no one else is brave enough to speak up, so I will.  What do I think about during sex?…omg…a million things.  When I was with my husband (20ys), things were not very good, so my primary thought was usually….”god I wish his ego could handle me telling him this sucks.”…..“Please let it stay hard long enough”……“oh, that again?  yawn” and “Please, oh god, please hurry up”…I think that explains my marriage.  So yes, I have had sex to shut him up.  To shut up his incessant whining about not getting enough, despite the fact I am covered in baby shit.

But now that I am single, I find many other things going thru my mind.  I’m a woman, so of course there is always a self conscious thought or two zipping thru my brain.  Like…”what does that face mean?”….”omg he thinks I’m fat” or “I hope he is enjoying this and I’m not the worst he’s ever had”  But usually I am just thinking things like….”oh god I hope he is brave enough to take me like an animal, yet kind enough to not to take it too far”.

I always want to be a bit nastier than I want to be perceived and hope that my little clues are picked up on and he is man enough to take me where I secretly want to go, yet letting him be the man by not telling him.  Sometimes I want Conan to drag me by my hair and toss me around, and other times I want to be caressed like an angel….and sometimes there is only a few seconds between those two desires.  If only men COULD read my mind.

I often, too often unfortunately, have to wish that men’s ego’s, ie: hard ons, could handle a wee bit of instruction or guiding.  I guess my fear is that if I speak my desires or discomfort, that his ego will think that I think he’s not good enough, big enough, thick enough or man enough….(what ever men’s neurosis’ are) and that it will end quicker than it started.

Sometimes I just want to get it on like donkey kong, and I don’t care if it’s a first date. Other times I hold back because I really don’t want to be treated like a woman who ‘can/will’ sleep with someone on the first date.  So many men totally blow getting lucky because they treat me like I’m a sex object, when I am not acting like one.  And I could have been that very thing for them, IF they had just treated me with respect and passion.  Instead they turn me off and get booted out the door before they even knew what hit them in the ass. 

Some men, but only a few, have the charisma and respect for me….. to take me right where I am DYING to go.  Granted, now we are not really talking about forming relationships here….but even when we are….I am always DYING to have a real man take me “there”.  I don’t mind being conquered when done with respect...but often I am the aggressor and I like that too.  I like when a man plays a little hard to get….but teasing and goading me into taking HIM where HE wants to go. 

I also love it when I can get him to think….that HE caused his idea to become my idea….so he can walk away feeling like he is so masculine and sexy that he caused a real “good girl” to go real, REAL bad.  That is probably one of my favorites because I think it is obvious just how much I love the yin and yang of seduction.  Nothing turns me on more than the tension of desire during that dance.  So I hate it when men fuck it up by being so damn direct.  I’m screaming in my head…”shut the fuck up and tease me you jack ass…and the world will be your oyster”. 

But mostly, my hope, desire and thought, is to share myself fully, heart-soul-body and experience what my man has to share with me, be it for one night or a lifetime.  Thinking about how good I can make him feel.  Feel about me, what we are doing and feel about him self.  And If I can get him to say out loud….”oh my fucking GOD”, as if he has died and gone to heaven…..I feel like I’ve won the Olympics and I can fly and let loose even more.  I’m always hoping he will be vocal with his pleasure, because it fuels my bravado and I get REALLY into it.  And then all I am thinking is “yes, Yes….YES”

I love to tease my man, and do little things to make myself irresistible, so Conan has NO choice but to drag me back to his cave and blow my fucking mind! 

~S~