Guy Friend

Last night was rough for me. I cried a lot yesterday.  I know this is what I want, what I need, and what’s good for me.  But damn I’m kinda sad.  I talked with Josh for an hour or so last night.  We miss each others friendship for sure.  He was the only one who could make me laugh yesterday.  I needed it. 

While I will forever be grateful for the gift he gave me….boy am I glad we are not a couple!  He has to be the trampiest man whore I have ever met!  We will be great friends though and that is perfect.  Now that the Venus retrograde is over, my emotions are flooding out of me.  All the things that laid dormant in me the last 6 weeks are surfacing at an alarming pace.  I couldn’t sleep last night and all I could think about was sex….SEX SEX SEX…. Even sex with Josh!  And with all the events that took place during the retrograde, I am more convinced than ever that I knew Josh in a past life and Venus’ little trip thru Gemini brought him to me.  While I will never trust another man again in my life, not fully, Josh did just as the stars destined him to do.  He healed my broken heart.  My heart no longer aches and cries out from the pain of the infidelity.  Not that I’m not hurt by it any more, just that it is not an all consuming pain that I must suffer and survive on a daily basis, and it gave me the strength to stand up for myself and to be treated fairly.  To say out loud that this life is not good enough for me and to be brave enough to go for a life that is.  I will never doubt the stars again…and soon enough Josh and I will be partying hard!  He has basically warned me that he will protect me like no other, and that he will not let an unworthy man near me.  Just what I need when I am lonely horny and desperate for sex……a tiger of a cock block!

~S~