Thinking ~vs~ Freefalling

As a Libra, I am governed by such actions as being a peace maker, love maker, and seeker of harmony.  I am governed by reason and objectivity most of my waking life.  However, it would be nice for once if I could toss all that aside and just follow my heart.  Let emotions guide my decisions not just my actions.  Act before taking weeks to thoroughly think things through.  I know that many people leap without thinking, and more often than not, it is to their own detriment.  But I often see people throwing caution to the wind, as a primary guidance system, and they always land on top.  Why are some people risks takers and other people nervous nellies? Neither, on quick observation,  is the optimum. And both can result in harm, by way of over action or inaction.

I wouldn't categorize myself as either though.  After all I did smoke some pot this last weekend, I had sex with a near stranger, i turned down a ride to walk alone.....downtown at 2:30 in the morning.... and.... occasionally I run with scissors....So I am no nervous nellie.  But, it isn't as though I have jumped out of a plane, tossed my husbands shit out the window the second I caught him cheating, or run naked through a baseball stadium.  One would think, my entire life should be the epitome of balance, as a Libra anyways.  Neither too cautious nor too adventurous, somewhere in the middle, I thought I had found a balance.  And thus, if you find a balance, I would think....things would normally work out well.  So how did I go so wrong?   Why can't I just take the damn chance and KICK HIS ASS OUT.  Why do I have to let my sense of fairness come into play, no one plays fair with me?  Why can't I stop putting others feelings first and put myself first?  I kind of am, by putting a 'time limit' on this 'try to see if it can work' crap.  But I keep hearing of women who caught the bastard....and his ass was habitating the curb 3 minutes later.....HELL....my own mother in law said she would have kicked him out.  WTF is wrong with me, and will I have the balls to cut the cord next week?

~S~