"I love you"

Isn't it funny just how many emotions and promises are attached to those 3 little words, be they real or percieved.  Probably more than any other 3 word combination in any human language.  We say it and write it in many forms.... "Love you", "luv you", "luv u" "love ya" "luv ya" and we even use litte emoticons and graphics with little hearts.....but the one that I think is the most personal, that conveys the most, is the one with the little "I" in front of it.  It is what separates casual love from deep meaningful love. What all do those three little words imply?  And does it mean the same to the person saying it, as it does to the one hearing it?  Most likely not. 

Some things it can convey.....

"You can trust me" and "I trust you"
"I'm not going anywhere" and "please don't leave me"
"I get you" and "I love that you get me"
"I will never hurt you" and "Please don't hurt me"
"I think your wonderful" and it feels great to know "You think I am wonderful"
"Thank you for all that you do for me" and "I will do all that I humanly can for you"

The list goes on and on.....but is there just as much really conveyed in the reply "I love you"?  We say it so automatically in response to someone saying it first, that I think it means very little more than a simple
"thank you".....as in 'thank you for telling me that YOU love ME...because I know if I don't say it back....it will hurt your feelings"

Often I think we say it, just to get the return 'I love you' to validate our feelings or needs.  So sometimes "I love you" really only means....."Do YOU love ME?"  Which is an oxy moron considering the reply could only mean "thank you for saying that" so it really validates nothing and if that is what you are seeking, you will always question if the reply was sincere.

And then when things are bad, like they are for me and my husband right now, when I say "I love you" that is ALL it means.  It does NOT mean...

"I forgive you"
"I'm not leaving"
"I accept your weak attempt to change"
"I love the way you treat me"

Right now when I say it....it very simply means

"Yes I love you, but I love me more"
"Please don't hurt yourself"
"I do care about you"

What would the world be like, if we actually said the things we really feel and asked the questions we really wanted to ask, rather than cheapen the meaning of the trilogy by using it to infer so much else that we just cannot say.

~S~