Till death do us part

I, (my cheating ass husband), take you, (the dipshit that believed this BS), to be my lawfully wedded wife. To have and to hold, for better or for worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part. 

That’s right, that’s what he said.  Does he know, does anyone know, the meaning of the word ‘vow’ anymore?  That it is a solemn PROMISE.  I think too many people, my husband included, have detached the meaning from the word. 

But lets not blame ignorance to the English language just yet.....Maybe it is the ‘vows’ themselves that are outdated or misunderstood.  Obviously, rich/poor, sick/healthy and love are self explanatory…but I will touch on those later.  Let's first look at….this “to have and to hold” crap??  What exactly did I promise to ‘have’ and to ‘hold’?  This almost makes it sound like we are property….maybe this one is WAY too outdated.  Yikes! 

For “better or worse” ?? These are really just a bit too vague to me.  Of course we will always prefer someone at their 'Better'......but.....Worse?…hmmm…Are we really promising to stay married to someone who takes the ‘worse’ to the extreme....to still cherish them at the absolute WORST?  Drugs, robbery, murder?  Well... maybe for some people, ok, but not for the majority of us.  I think few would turn some one away for being too 'Rich'......But what about 'Poorer'?  If they choose to become a free spirit and never work again, are we really promising to support someone forever who decides to just be a couch potato, making no significant contribution to the marriage or the world at large?  Then there is sickness, I know this is a touchy subject, but what if the sickness is Schizophrenia with paranoid delusions and our lives become in danger?  Or they are permanently brain dead?  I think most of us would admit, that they would not knowingly marry a crazy person, so why should we stay with them if they become one or lied about being one?  And on that note....

What if they lied to us about who they were to get us to marry them?  We promised these things to a person that we 'thought' we knew....not the person who they turn out to be.  Had I known my husband was an angry alcoholic...I certainly would not have said yes in the first place.  Had I known that he had no idea how to support me emotionally, mentally and spiritually.....I would never have made those promises to him...

My husband did not keep his "promise" to stay faithful when I was down and out after my accident.  No cherishing me, no compassion and understanding when I needed it most.  He did not help me or take care of me or even care that I was in pain.  Instead, he felt sorry for himself that he was not getting the attention he felt he deserved and selfishly sought it from a low life whore...several in fact.

While one might think the above time honored traditional vows are the best promises to make, I think there are certainly a few missing or at least not spelled out in the 'terms' we really want to.  Next time, if these are not included in vows made to me, I will not say yes.....:

I will keep my dick in my pants.  I won’t tell lies so I can flirt with and screw other woman.  I will not have an affair.  I will not play mind games with you to make you think you are crazy, just so I can have MY way.


I will not dump ALL the responsibilites on you, and then blame you when things go wrong.


I will support you and stand by you in times of need and not leave you hanging to figure everything out on your own.


I will not do things to make your life harder and add to your burdons.


There are obviously plenty more to add to this list, but I just wanted to say the basic ones I felt could be added....

These will be my vows at my next wedding, should I ever get married again, because lets face it...I prefer to just be brutally honest from this point forward....I think we all deserve no less...and IF you are going to promise something to someone....I think it should be something that you realistically can foresee and uphold....so here it is....

I, Goddess Supreme, promise to love you, King of my world, under the following conditions until the day you fuck up.  I will love you while you are healthy, self sufficient, debt free, and able to produce multiple orgasms. I will give you my heart and soul, so long as you give me yours.  I will not cheat on you in ANY way.  I will be your friend, lover, and soul mate for as long as you are mine.  I make you this one and only solemn vow.....I WILL: gouge your eyes out with an ice pick if you look at other women, poison your food if you talk to them, and melt your cock off with a blow torch if you fuck one.  At that point….we will definitely be parted by death….YOURS. 

Yes we are suppose to honor our promises and keep them, but are we really suppose to take this promise thing to the extremes or continue to honor them when our better half does not? 

I think not.

~S~