What is my “league” and are these men out of “mine”?

I was thinking about my fatal screening process as I was perusing through the POF men files.  Pic after Pic….some hot, some not.  I saw a pretty good looking guy and almost hit the gong button, but just before I did, I thought I had better listen to my hidden internal mind to see what I was saying to myself as a reason for not even looking at his profile.  The answer was that he was too pretty for me and out of my league. 

I took Marie Forleo to heart when she said to get rid of my predetermined man plan check list and talk to some men who are not normally my “type”.  So I have been talking to two of them the last few days, and quite honestly I think I may be a little out of their league, but they seem like great guys minus not so sexy looks, at least by my previous check list.  It sounds a bit egotistical and slightly narcissistic, but we all know who is in or out of our league….and when we are in or out of a mans….and quite frankly, so do they.  So far my gut feeling has not been wrong when it came to meeting a man online whom I thought I would probably not be attracted to…and I was right.  But then there is the fear that one just never knows the package our dream man may be wrapped in.

What is it, that makes us instinctively know this?  What is the degree to which it is still in natures law to be outside the zone?  Is it 10%....20%....30% we all know there is the fuzzy zone where it could be a crap shoot, and we all know….when we cross to the other side….and it just feels sooooo wrong.  But is this a lifetime of conditioning? And if so….by whom?  Were we conditioned by our parents, the media, our friends or the other sex’s rejections?  I sat there staring at this guys pic for far too long wondering this.

Then a conversation I had with my guy BFF came to mind.  I asked him what about me makes men only think of sex.  I know when a good man talks to me, he is quickly alerted to the fact that I am not a slut and a woman of reasonable above average intelligence, and there is more to me than meets the sleezy eye.  But I really wanted to know what my pictures of me are saying to a man.  I thought maybe I was dressed too slutty or something, and I was shocked and insulted at his reply, but had no choice but to face the bitter truth.  Apparently I look gullible, naive and easily manipulated….add to this my few (40) extra pounds and you have an assumed low self esteem.  Couple that with a slight resemblance to a lonely desperate and horny house wife on a cougar cub hunt.  He said I looked like I would be grateful at a proposal of sex from just about any man.  My intelligent self (IQ 142 with an abundance of common street sense) was soooo offended, I almost hung up the phone.  But I continued on the path of discovery and probed his mind for more answers as he and I had a wee fling a few months ago, if any man would know, it should be him.  I know from previous conversations that he at first thought he was going to get laid quickly until our first date and he soon realized…I believe he said to himself….”aaahhhh craaaap”  even though in the end, I slept with him that first night. Actually it was early the next morning….but still….slut-o-rama.

Does all this play into my “league”?  How do I know if my looks “league” matches my inner self “league”…and is there even really such a thing or is this all in our heads.  David Wygant says that all woman are beautiful to someone, that all men are attracted to something different.  Ok…common sense I guess, but…….Who are the men that are attracted to me?  Guess it is time to get offline, out of the house, and into the world to put all that I am learning into real world practice.  There are plenty of fish in the sea, I shall cast my bait and see who nibbles….a rainbow trout or a mud sucking catfish.  I will report back on my findings.

~S~