The Smitten Kittin

And who might that be you ask?  It's me.  I was completely worried that Dan was just not that interested, into me, "ready"....you name it.  But he has finally dropped enough hints that it is clear that he is.  We are having dinner tomorrow night and I couldn't be more excited.  I haven't been able to think about anything but Dan all week, and kissing him is pretty high on the list of my thoughts.  Oddly, unlike my behavior and thoughts over the last several months...sex and hormone driven....my recent thoughts of Dan fall under the more romantic and sensual.  Now all I have to do is keep it together, not get nervous and not screw it up.  I've never had this kind of problem in the past, but for some reason, Dan has me tossed upside down and I'm just a giddy school girl.  I'm going to try to keep the "talk" off of my mind and just enjoy our time together.  Wish me luck.

~S~

The cowboy man has me wrapped around his stetson

Friday, after feeling a bit depressed about the holidays I decided to see if Mike and Judy were up for a trail ride or lessons or something horsey. I had my truck and was ready to roll.  But alas, they had other plans and Judy suggested I ask Dan if he is available.  The thought alone made me queasy...the fear of rejection after putting myself out there was just a bit too high.  It made no difference that we texted alot on wed or most of Friday.  However, after a few hours of diligent Libra deliberation I bit the bullet and asked him.  He teased me for a bit but ultimately agreed.  Us both being Libra's, nailing down the details was the most difficult thing....and he left it up to me as to where we go.  I suggested my home town and he offered to pick me and my horse up.  He got lost on his way to my house but was not to proud to ask for directions.  We went for a great ride, made quite a few stops to let the horses rest and chatted up a storm.  When done we went for a late lunch and I enjoyed the conversation.  Hopefully he did as well.  When we got back to my house he was so chivalrous and just grabbed my saddle and half way up my driveway asked where I would like him to put it.  That was refreshing I must say, most people just ask if you want help.  Not Dan, he just does it.  What a MAN.  We chatted more and gave a hug good bye, then chatted some more....and on the second hug he planted a sweet little kiss on my lips.  I take that as a good sign as lips are reserved for special people.  Sunday we texted a whole lot more and it got a little more flirty for sure.  Nothing too outrageous and nothing like I am capable of, but a move away from the direction of just "friend zone".  It's going so slow though, Hell I've seen sap leave a tree faster.  But here is where it gets interesting.  For some reason I can't stop thinking about him.  All day, every day, he pops into my mind.  It's just not like me to not have gotten bored and moved on.  I want him to just grab me and take me by surprise, but I just don't see him doing that.  I don't know what it is about this man, but he clearly has me wrapped around his Stetson.
~S~

Holding my Breath

As much as I don't want to hold my breath, I'm just going to have to hold it.  Dan shocked the hell out of me yesterday....he texted me.  I'm not getting too excited, it's just one small step for him....but at least it's in the right direction....I hope.  We texted and teased each other, and maybe after our horrific display of moronic proportions at the party....it was actually a good way to get back to talking to one another and not being too chicken shit.  Now I get to just sit here and wait again and see what happens next.  All I know is that I am horney as hell and craving human touch.  But since I have to cross the hurdle of the herpes talk at some point, I am trying not to get too into him yet....but good god, I wake up thinking about him, think about him all day, and he's the last thing on my mind before I drift off to sleep.  I don't know what happened to me....but crap I got it bad!
~S~

Cowboy Man Dan

So let me tell you about Dan…..Dan the “cowboy man”.  A couple months ago I was at a horse event with my friends and updating them as to my current “single” status.  I had noticed this one guy at the event and thought he was good looking and mentioned to my friends that he is a one in a million guys my own age that I actually found attractive.   As I have stated before, I tend to be attracted to younger men….rather creeped out by older men. 

So after the event we had a potluck and Dan sat at my table and took his sunglasses off.  Right then I realized I knew him and we discovered that not only had we worked together 20ys ago, but that we had gone out on a few dates as well.  He quickly mentioned this to mutual friends, but did really say if he was interested in me at this time.  Well, a few weeks ago I attended another event and he was there.  We ended up talking for a few hours, both during the potluck and a couple hours after as well.  I needed to leave to get my kid, yet he kept teasing me to stay.  I thought he might be interested, yet he didn’t ask me out.  We are both going thru the divorce process and quite honestly, neither of us are ready for a serious relationship.  I thought little more about it until my friends called me up to go on a trail ride with them last weekend.  Of course I agreed.  Not only would I have a great ride with friends, but Dan was going to be going as well.  Despite the fact that I got hurt falling off my horse, I still enjoyed the day. 

After the ride we had a picnic lunch and when Dan and Mike left to do something, Judy quickly told me that Dan asked about me, mentioned he wanted to ask me out, but that he was afraid of rejection.  I told Judy to tell him that I am interested and he should ask me out, but not in a way that he thinks I am expecting him to ask me out and anxiously awaiting it.  I told her that I didn’t want him to feel any pressure.  So Later after I left, he asked Judy what I said….she told him to ask me out and do you want to know what that wimp said?  He said “I’m not ready”…..WTF !!?!!

Why is he asking all these damn questions if he isn’t “ready”?  So I asked a guy friend at work as to why this might be as I just don’t get it.  My friend said that it is different going thru a divorce for a man than a woman.  That they are afraid they are more likely to have the ex try to screw them if they start dating too soon.  He also said, in general, he is likely afraid of rejection as 70-80% men are, and that by asking if I was interested, he probably thought I wasn’t, hoped I wasn’t….as then there was nothing for him to do than go on his merry way…….BUT…..once he found out that I am interested….NOW…..it’s an “oh crap” moment…..”oh crap…now what?...What do I say? What if she really isn’t interested?” and thus….retorting…….”I’m not ready”. 

But Still….So my friend told me to just be patient and see what happens.  I told him that is exactly what I intend to do.  No Rush, No Hurry, No Worry…….

We’ll see, only the future will tell.

~S~

My Last Online Date: Man #26....UGH X 10

After last weekends date, I have come to the conclusion that online dating is not for me.  However, I have this one last guy to meet with and what ever happens....happens.  I have disabled my POF and OKC accounts and am heading into the "real" world to meet men..........I typed that on my way out the door for my last online date.  We had been texting all week and by his own admission he was a VERY out going person and after last weekends boring date....who couldn't use some time with a fellow extrovert?  I did tell  him that we would be meeting just as "friends", as I had a feeling after all the other men I was NOT attracted to, that there was a high likelyhood that I would not be attracted to him and I didn't want to set any sort of expectation.  He said he completely understood.  Great.  So I drove to Sacramento to meet him as there are so many things to do there that two extroverts could really set the town on fire.  I met him at his house and we drove in his car.  Right off the bat I could smell a boring date on the horizon, but decided not to jump to any conclusions just yet.  Well we got to the sushi place and from that moment on it was like pulling teeth to get him to say anything.  His sengtences were about 4-8 words long and that's it.  We had some great food and the saki was a neccesity for me to survive. 

We left there for another bar and it did not get better.  He did finally start talking a little, but he still made last weeks date look like a talk-a-thon.  I asked him if he was nervous and he admitted he was not a big talker.  WTF....kinda pisses me off then that he flat out said he was prior to meeting me.  We stood outside and had a cigarette before we left at which time he put his arm around me.  I made no such reciprocal advances toward him and I thought he got the hint that I wasn't interested 'that' way.  He tried to talk me into staying the night at his house.  I politely said I couldn't.  So when we got to his house I was quite surprised, despite my desperate prayers, that he tried to kiss me.  I off course made othe offensive head turn and he got nothing but cheek.  So I was even more surprised that he went in for a second attempt after I got in my car before I got a chance to shut the door.  Where on earth does a guy who is not confident enough to TALK to a woman find the courage to try to kiss her?  Where!?!  So here's a tip for all you "nice guys" out there......When you go in for a kiss and get a cheek....trust me...it is no accident.  Pay closer attention to other clues.  Ask her out again.  If she says yes....then try for attempt #2....on date #2....but most likely she is going to say no, or tell you it will be only as friends.  If you get the cheek.....ask for the check.....it's over.    Anyways, I drove away as fast as I could.  texted him the obligitory "thanks for a great time" and never heard from him again.  Had a been a girl that just was not 'that kind of girl' but still liked him...I would have been bummed that he didn't call again.  Just goes to show that he either ONLY was looking for sex, OR, he knew I wasn't interested.  Either way.....no further contact from him says alot, because if he really was OK with meeting as and making friends....he would have contacted me as a friend.

I stopped at my local bar on my way home to check on my friend Joe, who wasn't there.  But Wayne (a guy that I tried to have an affair with a few years ago but I couldn't do it) was there DJ'ing.  I have been getting the feeling that he is planning to make a move on me when the time is right....along with another bar fly Travis that has the hots for me.  So I chatted for a few minutes and went home to sleep my boredom away.

That was my last and final date from an online dating site.  PERIOD
~S~

Online Date Man #25....UGH

So I finally thought I might have met someone that would be NORMAL....not a perv.....we texted for over a week. Not once did he refer to sex or my body.  Very nice and respectful, despite flirting on the edge of the sexual zone.  He asked me out....we decided to meet for lunch.  I have to say that I was physically attracted to his pictures and he seemed like he would be fun to hang out with......well....not so much.

It was a sunday, lunch time and we had to wait for a table with one of those buzzer things.  I figured he might be nervous or something and he quite possibly was.  Even though we managed to talk for nearly 3hrs straight....it was sooooo boring.  He only smiled a few times and I felt like I was constantly trying to engage him with him never really trying to engage me.  He reminded me of one of my uncles with a real dry sense of humor.  He mentioned that he used to be really introverted, but that he is much more outgoing now.  I am the proverbial social butterfly and the quiet ones do nothing for me.  He did little if anything to "end" the date, even though I kind of kept hinting to the fact that it was OVER.  Finally we got up from our table and walked out to the cars.  A quick thank you, nice to meet you, hug and away I drove.

At this point I figured he was just as bored as me and I would not hear from him again.  I sent him a thank you text and thought that was the end of it.  But no, he texted me for a week and a half now and no word or mention of a second date.  Now I will say that because he may have been nervous, I would be willing to entertain him on a second date.  So my best friend made me ask him how HE thought the date went.  He said he thought it went good.....But, he has not asked me out again.  Nor do we talk on the phone.  I am a little confused, but I am not worrying at all because I am pretty sure he is not "the one"

~S~

Online dating: Men #18-24

Ok, so there has been a whole lot of action, going all of about no where for a while.  Here's the update:

Man #18  was an arrogant womanizing PIG. I befriended him just to get the "male pig" perspective.  He actually told me that he joined POF simply to fuck away the memory of a "hot chick" that sucked dick like a porn star.  I seriously don't know from what planet he thought a woman, even a friend, would want to hear that shit...but he blurted it out.....  SO, I started asking questions.  Asked why he wanted to go out with a woman who didn't "suck" very good?  Being that he stated he could not get off any other way.  Things like that.  It was quite insightful to talk to a man who seemed to genuinely not like women.  Most of them he called "bitch" by default. I have encoutered men who like sex more than relationships before, but none of them seemed to think so lowly of women as he does.  Most of them LOVE women, just don't want to be in relationships.

Man #19 is from a long time ago and actually lives about 400 miles away.  I almost drove down to see him, but decided I was just not desperate enough to do so....so he is on the back burner as emergency plan B.  Should I find myself horny with no available options and in a state of despair.....I just might make the pilgrimage.

Man #20 was a little too boring for the conversation to get off the ground and into a date.  We just faded away. 

Man #21.....OMG....what a freak show.  At first things were going great, we talked and he seemed "normal" so we decided to meet that friday.  Then he started getting carried away with sex talk.  I told him that I was uncomfortable with the subject until after we meet.  So instead of dropping it, he started making inuendo's toward sex.  Being a very horny woman, I went along with it even though I had this nagging feeling.  He also during this sex talk, kept refering to me as "her/she".  Seems that often, i have discovered, that many men feel the need to "sell" themselves sexually....in order to get a date.  It was in his "pitch" that he would make the reference.  "SHE is always pleased"...."I'm always gentle with HER"........how wierd is that?  As the weekend drew near, I became increasingly unsetteled.  Then Friday afternoon I was asked out by man #15.....finally.  So I said yes and cancelled on man#21.  While at first this might seem cruel or self serving....in the end it was a blessing in disguise.....despite the kharma related ending it had for me....which I will get to in a minute.  So when I told man#21 that my ex was not picking up my kid (the excuse given for cancelling) he freaked out and said he HAD to see me....THAT night and frantically asked for my address....home address.  I told him that I don't have men over at my house on a first date or when my kid is home.  He insisted and asked if I could come out to the street or something.  He went on and on about how disapointed he was, that "I" knew how much he was looking forward to meeting me.  I knew instantly what that "nagging" feeling I had been having was about, and it was THIS.  I knew he was going out of town the next day, yet the next morning he tells me that his trip was cancelled and could I meet him that night.  I told him I already had plans for the evening that I could not get out of.  And with that, I never heard from him again.  WHEW!!!.....but as for the date I accepted to cancel on this guy.......read on.....

Man#15......We had been messaging on and off for about a month and it finally progressed to the point of a date.  Mind you, I didn't instigate this date, nor did I suggest it.  He always appeared to be a nice and respectful man and we had great conversations online.  He asked me to meet him that night, I said yes and we decided to meet in the middle.  about a 40 min drive for each of us.  We texted right up to the point where I was pulling into the town in question when he cancelled saying he got a call that his kid was sick and he had to go get her.  He seemed genuinely upset that he couldn't make it.....and I havn't heard from him since.  So how is that for kharma?  I get stood up by the guy who I stood up another guy for.  Kharma....she's a bitch!

Man#22....This is a WTF? kind of guy.  Ya know....one that I am REALLY attracted to, he says the same thing....and poof.....vanished into thin air before it ever got started.  Damnit!!!

Man#23....he was a cutie, we talked on the phone, he seemed sweet and normal.  We were texing alot, sent a few pics and whamo......"I want to lick your Ass"......That was also during the week with the other freak....so I just never replied to the text.  He sent me a few more that I didn't reply to.  He got the hint and left me alone.

That was a few weeks of my life I'll never get back.  But I learned some valuable lessons.  Number ONE...is to listen to my gut....the pervs just give off signals...I clearly have a radar for it....so I need to listen to it.  At this point I am thinking.....I am done with online dating.  Just have to play out the last two guys I'm chatting with first.  Regardless of the outcome....I'm pretty sure online dating isn't for me.

~S~

Feast or Famin....it's a buffet at the moment! Men #18-#23

Well, alot has gone on since Vacation man (#17) And just when I thought I couldn't do any "better" than the crap that I was snagging.....my fishing net pulls up a bounty to choose from.  Finally....Though most could still be crap, to soon to tell.  However, I have yet another sexual dilema.  There is this hot guy (#21) that, well I am not attracted to for "dating" but.....he promises to be a full night of passion. (don't they all?)  Back to the "can't beat 'em-join 'em"....with this one.  Vacation man got me frustrated big time....and I need it like a crack ho needs her pipe.  I have a few others dangling on the line, that are possibly willing to not view me as just a sexual object.

#18...Mr. Shallow, is a real Local guy, who we are just "friends"...fine by me, he is NOT my type personality wise....in any way shape or form, and he aint good looking enough to be as shallow as he is.

 #19...The puruvian Lover, is a guy who'm we've been texting as friends since April.  He lives so far away that despite our mutual attraction...It really is just too far away.  But, we've been talking about finally meeting.....we'll see. 

#20...Mr Nice.  This is a new development, he's a correctional officer, we'll see if this goes anywhere.  I think I might be too much for him.

#21...The Assyrian Lover I spoke of above....he may be too much for me...LOL

#22...Mr. Libra, another new development, my heart is pounding....I really want to meet this one.....REALLY

#23...Mr. Flip that chick~POF~pending

#4....showed back up and thinks he deserves a second chance to stand me up again....

Hmmm...could my whole thought process be wrong?

So I've been thinking a bit after "vacation man", and how for all intents and purposes, we were not THAT compatable as far as conversation goes...I doubt I could have dated him as he kind of had that "old fart" vibe to him....and honestly I was not really "into" him physically either.  But when he planted that first kiss on me, and it was soooooo damn good....I wanted more.....and it was the steamiest make out session I have had in decades.  I felt like a kid again, yet not, because I am old enough and wise enough to not feel like I was being a "bad girl".  I love kissing....love Love LOVE....kissing...with someone good anyways.  I could and have, done it for hours.

Anyways, not that I feel like I made a serious mistake with the men I have met and disqualified, I do wonder about my screening process....in the looks department.  Not the obvious way out there kind of "not attracted"...but the "almost, but no cigar" kind of not attracted....

I wonder if guys I have dismissed based on some minor superficial looks stuff, which felt like deal breakers at the time, if they planted a hot and steamy kiss on me....would I feel different.  This would either apply to sexual encounters only...at first glance....and if the personality is there....for ongoing dating as well. 

 So what should I do, when confronted with a guy who I'm not particularly attracted to, for minor things, not major differences, should I just go in for the kiss and see how it makes me feel?  Rather than the "blow off" I  have been doing?  And if the answer is yes, should I be even LESS judgmental and superficial and give man #16 a chance, despite his rather large size?  I do find him enjoyable to spend time with.  His face is cute, and he is really sweet and respectful aside from the sizing ME up.....should I?  Afterall he IS a Capricorn.....and not suppose to be compatible with my Libra tendancies.  What should I do....he's asked me out again?

~S~

Complete Sexual Frustration!!!! Vacation Man #17

OMG, I think I may just rape someone. So Friday night, I met this guy on vacation from Wisconsin. We made out hot n heavy, and it was the kind of making out you can only dream of. It was soooo HOT, so sensual, so passionate, so good…I couldn’t stop myself….and neither could he. We did however stop short of actually having sex. Not exactly my idea, because it was soooo good, I would not have cared if I was a slut. Seriously…how many opportunities for mind blowing sex really come anyone’s way…much less mine? I’m sooooo freaking turned on and frustrated now, I have no idea what the hell I am going to do. It’s like eating one scoop out of a banana split….who the hell wants to do that? You want to eat the whole thing. Taste all the flavors rolling over your tongue. You know eating the whole thing is bad for you, but it tastes so damn good, that you can’t resist being sinfully bad. You try to be good, but you get high on the delectable sweetness and want to ravish every last morsel. God that guy could kiss. Rarely in my life have I ever made out with someone as good a kisser as me….but when I do…..holy shit…it makes me a complete lunatic and I can’t stop from going all the way. And who better for a one night stand, than a guy on vacation? Damn…where’s a good motel when you need it?

~S~

Are you Kidding me? Really? Man #16

I just have to get this off my chest, or ass, or what ever fucking body part you men are focusing on.  When you say in your online profile that you are a BIG guy but proportioned...and show up with a gut the size of a keg....THAT is NOT proportionate!  No matter how fucking tall you are.  So when you show up to a first meeting with a chick who is disproportionately better looking than you, you have ALOT of nerve judging HER in any manner.  Dude's....seriously?  I think I am totally bailing on the whole online dating thing.  I'm just not cut out for it.  I'm not a cold hearted bitch and I don't have the heart to say...."I'm sorry....you're just too big".  I'm new at the dating thing anyways, so I know I have to get better at speaking my mind that "we are just not a good fit".  I'm such a fucking woosie in this department.  I hate to hurt anybody's feelings. And it's part of my growth to be able to stand up for myself and speak my mind.  He was sweet, respectful and fun to be around, and I honestly enjoyed his company....But good God..... he would smother me....literally.  Many things snap under too much weight....twigs, swings, bridges, buildings....and believe it or not..... 5'2" women! I know it will come off as shallow or superficial....but I don't even care anymore.  Especially when you are sizing ME up like a used car.  Like you are actually going to find a used Lexus with every option available with only 10K miles for a measly $2K.  Go ahead and kick my tires bro, just don't be surprised when you go to turn me on and my battery is dead! 

Yet again, I have to look in the mirror and evaluate that "black widow" status.  Fuck! I hate when people call me out on something I don't like, and after careful observation it just might be true.  But in my deffense on yet another man whose blood I appear to have sucked on....this guy was BIG.  And all I hear about is how 'women' lie about thier weight and show up to a first meeting a hundred pounds bigger than expected.  Well, guys do it too....and I feel sorry for all of us 'honest' 'open' 'forthecoming' people who have to find a way to tactfully wiggle our ways out of it.  I just can't wait to hear all my girlfriends say "I told you so".....bitches!  I'm never going to be able to live this whole thing down.  Anyone have a good rock I can crawl under?

Then there is this 27yo that I have been chatting with from OKCupid and all he has on his mind is sex.  sex, Sex, SEX.  Gotta cut the line on this little fishy too, even though he is cute....because if he asks me one more fucking question about my body, I'm going to blow my own fucking brains out. On what planet do horny little boys (yes I'm calling all you immature 20somethings BOYS) think that a mature woman, cougar on the hunt or not, wants to be asked every lewd question there is to be asked about her body?  I'm about to just post my stats on my profile, so I don't ever have to be asked those questions again.....

SWF seeks NORMAL ..SWM,  5'2" blonde hair, size 16 (for real) smoldering blue eyes, 42-32-49.  I shave daily....every where a man would hope that a woman would, my nipples get hard when I'm cold, my ass is fucking fantasic in my thong, I sleep in the nude, occasionally masterbate, and yes...I want to have mind blowing sex....sometimes even on the first date.  Fuck it....there!  I said it...so don't fucking ask! 

Seriously, if these are my options, I'm just going to go get drunk and fuck the next good looking thing to hit on me at the bar,  because none of these men have been worth it....and I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt that I can and will do better than this in person.  Time to get out of the house and go talk to that hot single butcher at the grocery store that flirted with me.

ARGGGG

~S~

Crap, crap, Crapicorns! Man #16

Why oh Why are Capricorns drawn to me…and why the fuck am I drawn to them?  Seriously?  Man #16 is of course a Cappy.  Didn’t I just swear off of them forever?  WTF is wrong with me?  I am very cautious about this union.  So I encouraged a meeting VERY quickly, possibly tomorrow, two days after introduction.  No need to waste my time on yet another Cappy, that will go NOwhere, if that is to be the case, lets find out right NOW!  So far though, he is quite the charmer.  We hit it off intellectually/conversationally like Josh and I do, very different than man #8 the other cappy, who was more pragmatic and “know it all” than Man#16 and Josh.  But again, I’m reserved until we meet.  With my fickleness, his bad boy looks…..OH Ya!...here’s another thing.  I clearly am attracted to bad boy looks….tats, bald heads n such…..this one has a nose ring…..

Not sure if this is just a phase….part of the whole “rebound man” syndrome, or if this is part of a deep inner self destructive way to find men that I may not “fall” for to spare my itty bitty heart from serious destruction, or if it is subconscious about the probability of them not caring about the big “H”, or what?  BTW, he’s cool with the big “H” thing.  Lot’s of introspection will be needed for this one…and I also think it is a “time will only tell” situation.  Dunno…..time will tell.

~S~

Online Date: Man: #9 #10 #11 #12 #13 #15

As you can imagine by the lumping of all them into one post, there is very little to say about each of them.  Man #9 I really enjoyed his company, but there was NO physical attraction on my part.  He was nothing like his picture, but personality….I could totally be great friends with him.  This is not what either of us is looking for, so the one date was it.  Man #10 was a freaky sex addict….NEXT!  #11 is still a potential for a sex only FWB, but it’s already boring the hell out of me and it’s not what I’m looking for….but he sure is HOT!!!  Man #12 was one to be of friendship only, but he was still a flake.  We have a lot in common, live in the same very small town and it would have been nice to have a “friend” but he never showed.  Man #13 is still kind of pending, a young Italian guy, very persistent, makes me wonder.  However my schedule was hectic last week and we haven’t talked much.  Man#14 was very assertive and lightening fast to ask for my number, very fast to want to chat, then “bad day” then flake-o-rama. Man #15 is sweet and we have an ongoing pen pal situation.  He’s attractive and interesting, but not sure if this one is ever going to get off the ground.  So….7 weeks of online dating, I am about to take a break from it.  I’m pretty sure it’s not the way for me to go.  I’m too fickle, get bored quickly, and really just need to be around people.  But it has been a good way for me to dip my feet back into the ‘dating’ pool.  Rather than just jump in head first at some nightclub.

But there still may be hope, in whatever capacity it may be, for Men #11, #13,  and #15.  but now, there is man #16....oh CRAP!

~S~

Sex, Love and Astrology for this Libra Woman

"Justice is female because she IS the Goddess.  She is all and everything, and Her law, that of nature, cannot be broken and must be obeyed by every living creature.  She is the restorer and the maintainer of order and harmony.  She is Wisdom, She is Karma, She is Love....And Libra is Her sign."
Unknown

I'm about as perfect an example of a Libra woman if ever there was one.  I'm as good a judge as any, as I know many Libra women.  While all of us are alive with the basic traits....strong sense of fairness, difficulty making decisions, social butterflies, supurb conversationalists, stong sense of justice...yada yada....I seem to be the one who shines the brightest as an embodyment of ALL the Libra traits.  Honestly, they should just put my picture next to the definition.  I've been thinking hard about astrology and the men I have made contact with in my life.  So I want to keep track of how I get along with different signs, and how well the men I meet or know, compare to thier astrological signs definintion, and how we fare against the prediction of a coupling.

As I write or tinker with my POF online profile....I have noticed a trend.  Different aspects of my profile seem to attract men from differing signs.  It seems like when I make a change toward one direction, all of a sudden Libra's are checkin me out. Make another change in another direction and I get a bunch of hits from Scorpio's....lather rinse repeat....cancers hit me up.  You get the idea.   Lately....it's the capricorn man.  I have to say with all honesty, I believe in this stuff, as my experiences lately are proving it to be nothing short of hard cold facts.

Such as, the proposition that a Libra woman-Capricorn man coupling, is nothing short of disasterous.  I have to say that I whole heartedly agree.  I'm quite literally thinking of not wasting my time even chatting with a another cappy man ever again, no matter how fucking fine he may be.  They drive me insane.  I don't think there is a sign out there that can screw up a libra womans balance better than a cappy man.  They perfectly set me up on a high that I love being on, then they knock me off balance so hard, my head is spining and I'm stunned trying to figure out what the fuck just happened.  I am able to be good freinds with them, and can handle thier "tell it like it is" persona on that "friend" level.  But the second there is a romantic thought in my head, my emotions cannot handle the sting of thier tongue.  They feel a great sense of entitlement to tell you how and where you are wrong, and how you could "do it better".  They also have the weirdest quirks in the sex department.  They are VERY guarded with thier emotions and they are very good at ACTING like they are open about everything.  But the truth is, they can barely kiss without getting thier feelings hurt.  They can fuck like rabbits, but they do it like Julia Roberts in "pretty woman"..no kissing on the lips, as that is too "personal".  So I think I am totally and completely done with Cappy's no matter how intruiging they are in the beginning.

Another sign that I am thinking will not be a good pairing is the Virgo man.  Also known far and wide as a critical being and his name was "my husband" for many years.  Unfortunately, so is man #11 a Virgo, so trust me, my eyes are wide open.  But since this is strickly a FWB sexual relationship, I think we are gonna be ok in that department.  I already know, conversationaly we are not exactly Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers....But I think if we just focus on the "benifits"...there will be little to worry about.

Soooo, I am looking into the signs that I am suppose to be the most compatible with.  And they are, in this order: Gemini (this would be my owen, who quite literally could be my soul mate....just not available to me) Aquarius (the guy I got along great with over coffee a week ago but wasn't physically attracted to) Sagittarius and Leo.   But Man#7 was a Gemini too.....so...I'm definately going to be keeping track.

The ones that come in a close second, and could, maybe, be a good fit....would be....Libra and Taurus.

Now the ones that there is supose to be serious hard core attraction but not sustainable as a relationship are Pisces, Scorpio and Aries....  And least likely to make a match, unless it is a match striking a wild fire..... would be of course...the Cappy and the Virgo and Cancer.

In the end, this all could be a total load of crap, with no rhym or reason.  That is why I intend to get to the bottom of this.
~S~

I'm a "Man Eater" ??

That's right, I was accused of being a "man eater".....lil 'ole harmless me.  Why? You ask.  Because I had the audacity to sleep with 2 whole men, in the 'love 'em and leave 'em" fashion that men are so accustom to torturing us women with on a daily basis.  But I thought long and hard about the accusation, wondering if there may infact be some truth to it.  So I decided to check my stats and share.  I'll let y'all be the judge.  Keep in mind I have only been single for 9 weeks.  Well actually 4.5 months, but only free to do as I please for 9 weeks.  And because I am pretty much living in the moment, not the past, and barely the near future....I tend to forget how much of what I have done, has added up to.

Since I joined POF, (plenty of fish)  8-19-12.  (The following stats are POF only, not Tagged) Since then, I have made first contact to roughly 100 men.  Less than 10% replied.  Men have made first contact with me roughly 30 times. I have had conversations with 42 men in 6 weeks.  Many of them complete pervs, or men I am just flat out not attracted to.  Another good chunk of them, the conversation just goes no where, and either I or they stop messaging out of sheer boredom.  I have been asked out on real live dates by 5 men.  2 stood me up, 1 I was not attracted to, 1 the date in question was too far off and I forgot about him and kind of blew him off since he did not keep contact with me, and the 4th is man #8.  I have been asked out for a quick meet-n-greet by 4 men, and I have invited 1 to meet me.  2 are pending for next week, 1 flaked and bailed before the meet when the conversation turned sexual and his mind could not be swayed otherwise, and one just asked me today so we are working out details now.  And then there is Man #11.  Catagory: sexual only, hook up only, he'd better blow my mind!  Have to wait to meet him as I have plans this weekend for my birthday.  We are planning on hooking up next weekend. 

So I made a list....of all the men I have either met in person, or at least scheduled a meeting regardless of outcome, and the ones I have pending.  I was a little shocked at the results...14 and counting.  Crap, that sounds like alot for a 9 week period.  If you were to have asked me, the number in my mind was more like 8.  I have heard from other women that it has taken them months to get ONE meeting out of POF.  I'm not so sure I can catagorize myself as a "man-eater", but I think I am going to have to accept the fact that I am deffinately a "player"...probably a high stakes one as well.  Hmmmm Cyber Slut-O-Rama for sure, if you count the hundreds of men I have talked to online on tagged over the last 6 months. But none of those, ok well a few of them, did I ever have intentions of meeting...it was just a "sexy friend" flirting kind of thing.  So now that I am on POF, I can say, this is NOT my first internet rodeo, but my intentions have changed since I slowed my playing on tagged.  I would realy like to meet someone steady, with sex on the side.....someone whom I truly enjoy his company.  But I'm so sure I'm ready for that.  We shall see.  I'm just learning as I go.  Learning about men, myself, and dating.  And god I need to get laid soon. Laid GOOD.
~S~

Out of the Dark: Man #8 Hosta La Vista baby!

So earlier I said this man would either be the love of my life, or the lesson of a lifetime.  So which do you think he was?...the latter of course.  Before the date, I read about the Capricorn male/Libra female coupling and many, MANY examples of how it didn't work.  There were a few examples of this coupling surviving, but compared to the bad experiences....this relationship was pretty well doomed before it started.  I however, based on the phone conversations had high hopes we might be able to be a couple that could withstand our drastic differences.  I already knew that Josh (Cappy) and I were nothing short of a disaster as a romantic couple, but hoped this mans maturity would make him different.  In the end, I was sadly disapointed to fall among the ranks of all the other Cappy/Libra disasters.

When somone starts to give you "constructive critisism" based on the fact that "you asked"...and you quickly tell them before they start, that NO you infact did NOT ask for this advice....and they feel compelled to forge ahead anyways.....Well....the answer to that is...."If I'm not good enough the way I am, there's the fucking door asshole!"  I'm not perfect, and I work on my short comings everyday.  I am perfectly perfect for ME...it's the one thing that I find peace in, since my husband left....no one to constantly critisize me.  It is a personality trait I refuse to live with again.  I don't need some man to 'fix me'....especially when I didn't ask him to.  So, it ended as quick as it started, and left me with a final bitter taste in my mouth for cappy's.  PS....I know this will sound aweful.....because I slept with him and I shouldn't have....AND it was I who was the aggresor...but....the sex wasn't all that good either.  Again....two cappy's this Libra woman was not sexually compatible with either.  At least Josh was a rock star in bed....we just have different 'styles'. 

So much for man #8...next!
~S~