Cowboy Man Dan

So let me tell you about Dan…..Dan the “cowboy man”.  A couple months ago I was at a horse event with my friends and updating them as to my current “single” status.  I had noticed this one guy at the event and thought he was good looking and mentioned to my friends that he is a one in a million guys my own age that I actually found attractive.   As I have stated before, I tend to be attracted to younger men….rather creeped out by older men. 

So after the event we had a potluck and Dan sat at my table and took his sunglasses off.  Right then I realized I knew him and we discovered that not only had we worked together 20ys ago, but that we had gone out on a few dates as well.  He quickly mentioned this to mutual friends, but did really say if he was interested in me at this time.  Well, a few weeks ago I attended another event and he was there.  We ended up talking for a few hours, both during the potluck and a couple hours after as well.  I needed to leave to get my kid, yet he kept teasing me to stay.  I thought he might be interested, yet he didn’t ask me out.  We are both going thru the divorce process and quite honestly, neither of us are ready for a serious relationship.  I thought little more about it until my friends called me up to go on a trail ride with them last weekend.  Of course I agreed.  Not only would I have a great ride with friends, but Dan was going to be going as well.  Despite the fact that I got hurt falling off my horse, I still enjoyed the day. 

After the ride we had a picnic lunch and when Dan and Mike left to do something, Judy quickly told me that Dan asked about me, mentioned he wanted to ask me out, but that he was afraid of rejection.  I told Judy to tell him that I am interested and he should ask me out, but not in a way that he thinks I am expecting him to ask me out and anxiously awaiting it.  I told her that I didn’t want him to feel any pressure.  So Later after I left, he asked Judy what I said….she told him to ask me out and do you want to know what that wimp said?  He said “I’m not ready”…..WTF !!?!!

Why is he asking all these damn questions if he isn’t “ready”?  So I asked a guy friend at work as to why this might be as I just don’t get it.  My friend said that it is different going thru a divorce for a man than a woman.  That they are afraid they are more likely to have the ex try to screw them if they start dating too soon.  He also said, in general, he is likely afraid of rejection as 70-80% men are, and that by asking if I was interested, he probably thought I wasn’t, hoped I wasn’t….as then there was nothing for him to do than go on his merry way…….BUT…..once he found out that I am interested….NOW…..it’s an “oh crap” moment…..”oh crap…now what?...What do I say? What if she really isn’t interested?” and thus….retorting…….”I’m not ready”. 

But Still….So my friend told me to just be patient and see what happens.  I told him that is exactly what I intend to do.  No Rush, No Hurry, No Worry…….

We’ll see, only the future will tell.

~S~